My thoughts - A diary for me

Page 2

After 3 days of work, i'm glad i choose foxfield. The people are very nice, the hours arn't bad, the work isn't hard, and it's an easy learning curve. Nobody like richie or joey of osco to worry about, who used to threaten me with box cutters. There is also a lot of downtime, so we just kinda hang out a lot. I think i'm going to stick with this job as long as parents permit. They're still not convinced that it's going to work out during the school year, and i don't know what i can do to convince them. It's nice to not have to work early morning as well - earliest time i'll ever go in is 9, and usually i won't go in before 11. The people there are really nice. Most of the girls are cheerleader types, but they arn't the stuck up, idiotic kind that most people think of when they hear the word cheerleader. They're fun people to hang out with who don't mind being around a dork like me as so many people of that type seem to :-). Went dancing again on sunday night, even though i had to work the next day: it was fun but man did i hurt the next day. My room is really a mess - i should probably clean it up one of these days. Ah well, i'm just rambling on, so i think i'll quit for a little while. If anyone knows what the heck i can do to my web page to spiff it up, let me know please! Also, sign the damn guestbook - i've gotten almost 1500 hits and only 60 people have signed my guestbook. I'm outta here for now - stay chilly.

Ah, 1.34 in the morning. It's cool in my room - mother made me turn on the air in my room. I've been trying to get the girl i like to realize i like her online tonight - it's not really working :-( Ah well, i'll just have to skip the online route, and carve a way straight to her heart in real life. That always works, right? Well, i'm tired of being a dork - i'm taking an active role in advancing my social life this year. So, i just gotta get her alone, and get to realize that goddamnit, i don't want another friend. I got enough of those! I want a frickin girlfriend already! i mean, i know kids 3 years younger than me getting 10 times as much play as i'm getting. Grrr.... Anyway - I start work in 10 hours. Shit! i start work in 10 hours! i've got to get some sleep, before my first day at Foxfield Movie Theater. "Free refills on both of those. Thank you and enjoy the show!" Blah blah :-) it's better than the manual labor i had to do at osco though, i think. We'll see.

Man, doing a paper route at 3 in the morning takes a lot out of you. Because my parents were still tired from their trip, i did it again this morning. it didn't take me long though - from the time i got up to the time i got back in bed, it was less than an hour. It's just that getting up in the middle of the night thing that isn't too fun :-). I got a new job at foxfield movie theater - i start next week (probly fri/sat). It will be nice to have some money again :-) I'm almost totally broke, minus some cash i've made for selling my mp3 cd's and whatnot. Unfortunatly, the parents are complaining that this job is going to be too hard for me to keep during the school year because it's late nights. However, i usually stay up til 11-12 anyway, even if they don't realize that, and have no problems getting up. Also, on weeknights - how many people come into movies? not many, right? so, if it's not a big release or something that we're dealing with, then there should be no problem with my doing homework at the theater, which is more than i would do at home. If i could do my homework, then it would just turn into a 4 hour long study hall for me, which would proably IMPROVE my grades, not detract from them. In addition to all this - my grades don't matter much anymore. If i go for early application at u of i, it has to be turned in way earlier than grades come out (2 months or so) so the grades i have now are the only ones that will matter... hopefully i can convince the parents of this view. I'll try to keep you posted, so long as i don't get too lazy. Anyway - my web page has grown hopelessly out of date. I'm looking for some new material to put up on it, so if you think of something thats not on here that i need, let me know. and if ya'll haven't done it yet - sign my guestbook! i get like 30 hits each week, and nobody signs my guestbook ever :-( I hope you guys like this page, i've put some serious work into it. Have a nice day!

Happy 4th everyone - have fun, and be safe... as my drunk friend kim told me, July 4th is one of the top 3 drunk driving holidays. So watch the big kaboomies, celebrate the birth of your country by blowing up a small part of it, whatever makes you happy. Today is the day that we should all celebrate the independence and whatnot that gives this country a great name.

SAT and ACT scores came back. SAT was 1540, ACT 34. Great scores, but with my crappy grades who knows how far they'll get me :-P. I'm back from philmont - 10 days of backpacking over 75 miles of New Mexican mountains with a crew of 11 other boy scouts of america such as myself. Today i went out and applied for jobs, although tomorrow i'm going to go to osco and apply, since they said they'd take me back. if i made some decent money, that might not be such a bad job, but 6 bucks an hour just don't cut it. Plus, the crappy hours and everything... anyway, i'll see how it works out. I also applied to 3 local banks and to blue goose. After long discussions with many people about my personal life (Drew, Ben, KatRag, etc.) i've decided that i've got to become more active and conformist socially. It sucks that to get what i want i have to fit in, but in high school, it truly is a fact of life. My favorite quote has always been "i'm not going to change my ways just to please you or appease you" - but that's no longer true. i just can't take it anymore - the goddamn lonliness that i deal with sometimes is infuriating. So, no more crazy haired, wild dancing chris. if you see me at dances, i'll probly be in a corner, trying to hold down the alcoholic beverages i consumed just hours before (not really, but it's the concept behind it). Sure it's nice to say "i'm not going to let others opinions sway me" but it's an awful hard way to live. and if you really mean it - just saying it isn't enough, you have to live by it. I've done that for the past who knows how many years, and it's gotten me absolutely no where. I'm done with that now - it's time to move into the stage that every other high schooler learns to live with in freshman year - you can't get no where unless you fit in. anyway, it's 2.11 in the morning on the 30th, and the parents will be busting me soon, so i'm gonna say good night for now.

I totally quit doing this for a long time. SAT's today, i'm still exhausted. I had to drive 30 minutes each way and take a 3 hour test that i didn't really want to take. Next week is ACT's, not much better (except it's at STC). There's literally nothing to do and i'm totally bored out of my mind.

I'm sick and tired of school. Not that summer is any better... Anyway, my next 5 days of calc are 60% of my grade, I haven't done anything interesting in a month (excpet post prom), Girls avoid me at all costs, i'm a total computer geek and sit around all day looking at the different ways to play with winamp. I did add a new splash image today - i think it's kinda funny, but no one else seems to, so, o well. Anyway - Let me know what to add to this page, i'm totally out of ideas. I'm also outta here - i'm tired of writing (already, i know). I'm gonna go study or something.

No more AP tests. Do you understand what that means? it means i'm FREE! No more work for the rest of the year! Calc and History were ok, but the free response sections all sucked. I'm getting confirmed tomorrow, basically that takes my afternoon away. But it is kinda cool... becoming an adult in that aspect at least... Parents grounded me because i refused to go up into my room and clean it because it was already clean. Course, i didn't tell them that... so i'm grounded from driving for a week. New story by cole lohman is up at - it's about how you used to be able to make money melting dimes. Anyway, my brain hurts, i should probly go to bed. Mother's Day is tomorrow - make sure you wish your mother happy mothers day. Night everyone!

5:57 am - do you know where YOU'RE calculator is? Calculus AB AP test today. I'm hardly awake, and i have to go take a test that i'm hardly prepared for. It's kinda reainy out today, good temperature but VERY moist out. Anyway, i'm working towards hitting the 2 gigabyte mark with audiogalaxy (got 1 gig on april 29th). If i ever get my mp3s all organized, i may burn a few cds (meaning 7, cause that's what it'd take now) and sell off my sets. Good luck with AP tests those of you who are taking them (both Calc and APUSH). Otherwise - enjoy the next 2 days of school. Have a good day!

AP test tomorrow... Boy, am i ever screwed. :-) I actually think i'll be ok, got the case study zip from TCourtney today, and i looked at old openended questions - they are MEGA easy. Writing function bodies and such. Anyway, I won't be at school tomorrow because of that (it's at noon and i can't get a ride home in time). I don't know what kind of mood i'll be in after it, i may update afterwards with a few notes about it. To talk about the weekend - i didn't do jack crap. I went to my brothers middle school play (The Musicman). The only really funny part was when a curtain caught on fire because it was too close to a light. I wish i was more of a self starter - that's why this darn webpage always falls apart after 1-2 weeks - no motivation. I like the fact that i got over 1000 hits now - thanks a ton. That's over 300 in the past 2 weeks, really incredible for something small like this page. talked to lots of people about prom, seems like everyone had a really great time (if they went, which excludes me). Listening to some DMB right now - LIOG from L@RR, very cool. I need to see if i can pick up some new cd's of theirs - all my stuff i've listened to a lot. Anyway - no school tomorrow cause of the damn AP test, so we'll see what i do. Good luck to anyone else who has/had AP tests these two weeks, and congrats to all the college kids i've been talking to who are getting off school around now... DAMN YOU! :-) Less than a month til ACT/SAT tests... hopefully PSAE ACT results will be back, i really want to see how well i did. One of these days i'm gonna bring a camera to school and snap some pictures of people, if i can ever remember. My face is still scraped from that damn obstacle course. Also, were out of soda in my house :-( i'm thirsty and i have nothing to drink. Anyway... i'm just rambling. Drop me a line (guestbook is checked fairly often, i'm on AIM as ChrisRS84 about 18 hours a day) cause i really want to know what you think. Night all, and remember - "Carpe Diem!"

Man, it's early morning (3:31 AM) and i HURT all over. Post prom just ended, and i'm back. I must say, that was well worth the 7 bucks i payed for it. Way better than homecoming - and that was a heck of a lot more expensive. I did feel kind of lonely since everyone was discussing their plans for the weekend, and i'm stuck at home typing on the computer... but i still had a great time. Hey, Blair's not leaving town, maybe i'll steal her and we can do something! :-) (jk Blair! Calm Down!) Post prom was so much fun, but i'm a wreck. They had a big inflateable rubber obstacle course, and i just destroyed my elbows/knees/face on it. However, my record for the night was 11-2-1, with 11 wins,2 losses and 1 tie. Quite a night. Also, i cleaned up in blackjack, and i watched quite a few karoke things - pretty funny. i didn't win anything in the raffle :-(. The raffle for the car got totally screwed up... first, a name was called, and they weren't there. Then, they called a name, but it turned out she was from a diff. school. Then, they called 3 more names (one of which was Ty Hollet). Some of those people had been there, but left when they thought the raffle was over, so they lost out. Finally they got a winner. For all those of you who told me i should go to post prom - i thank you, it was great fun and a great idea. I hope you all had fun at prom if you went, i heard it was very cool. Many girls with very different hair than usual - I thought they were all incredible. Most of you will probly be gone most of the weekend, but when/if you read this, let me know how you enjoyed prom! I really need to get off now, it's 3:37 am. And remember - "Don't do anything i wouldn't do...". Stay cool, peace out.

It's prom day... Good luck and safe fun for all those of you who are going. I am not, as most anyone who reads this knows. I am going to post prom though, which is (from what i've heard) the more fun part anyway. Been organizing my mp3s today, realized i have 4.24 gig (downloaded 400 meg in the past 5 days). Been singing songs all day... Help me get through to the end of what's been a realy crappy week. I'm tired of school - Glad it's the weekend. I just realized last night that i'm going to be getting confirmed in a week. That's way too soon. Also - AP tests are next week (all three of them). So, if i don't update often, that's why. Anyway - i don't really have anything to say, although there are a lot of new words up on that page. I need to know what else to add here - i'm thinking of a heard in the hall section, but i'm soooo lazy :-). Anyway - enjoy your weekend, and be cool. I'm tired and i should probly take a nap.

Couple new things today... I finally decided that i'm going to post prom. after everyone telling me it's so fun (they're all lying! *smile*) and telling me i should go, i looked back at the diary entry on 4-28. Basically, i said i was going to go out and be more active, not require someone else to go with me to have fun, right? well, here is an oppourtunity staring me straight in the face, and i'm ignoring it. So... that's one less thought on my mind. Also, i sold my pancake breakfast tickets, so i get to use the computer again for the week (just another rather silly rule my mom makes to get us to do stuff). I was thinking about how nice it would be to read someones mind sometimes... like when you're not sure if someone really likes you, but you want to check? I guess it would suck if you couldn't control it though - i wouldn't want to read my parents minds most of the time. Also, dave's mind is out of the question not something i'd want to know about the inner workings of. It's may, happy may day to you all. Keep stopping in here... i keep adding stuff, truly i do. For example - the funny words page was just updated AGAIN - some very strange words just went up on there. Also, if any of you have ideas for what i should add to this page, let me know. and if you want to do something like coles story, or something of your own, let me know, or email it to me - i'll review it, then post it. Nothing really new to add to the site today - and it's time for bed. Seeya around!

OK - scouts tonight, that sux, cause i don't want to go. And we're selling pancake breakfast tickets - yuck. Anyway. Page hasn't changed as much lately - although movie quotes and words are updated fairly often, with help from a couple people. Do check out coles new story though - it's VERY funny. Anyway - keep new people comin in - i like to see new faces. Stay chilly, and i'm outta here.

Ever had a conversation that just really made you think about what you were doing with your life? well, i have lots of em, and i'll have to add today to the list i have em. Topic today was how much i'm missing cause i don't like to go to plays/movies/etc. without someone else. Is it my fault that i'm so insecure that i'm scared to do stuff by myself? is it a problem that i prefer sitting at home to walking into a roomful of people who always seem to know me, but i've never seen before in my life? is it a big deal that i don't go out every weekend, that i don't see every movie, just cause i can't get someone to go with me? Some people seem to think i'm missing out on a big part of my life just because i don't do all these things. I have never been of this opinion, and in general i don't let what other people think of my control what i do, but this seems to be a big deal, so i'm gonna start trying. I'm going to go to movies i really want to see by myself, instead of trying to get someoen to go with me and then giving up when they can't. I'll start going to the plays (i guess that's a bit late for this year). I won't be so reluctant to say "It's just me today, thanks!" Will this make my life more enjoyable? Damned if i know - if i had thought it would before today, i might have done it. But according to the person i talked to today, it will. Is it fun to go to the movies by yourself, to sit for 2 hours and just enjoy it, as opposed to being there to enjoy not only the movie, but the company you keep? I don't know - i never thought so before today. But I was told different, and so i figured i'll give it a try (at least to a certain extent). It can't get any worse i suppose, unless people begin to think i'm even more of a dork (hard to imagine, i know) because of it. But even that wouldn't be so bad, i suppose. So, when you see me walking into a movie theater, there may no longer be a lovely lady hanging on my arm every time - consider it an oppourtunity. On a logistics note - i've only been keeping this diary for a week, and it's grown to 15k in size. I think i'll begin archiving them by week, so the file doesn't get totally unmanagable. Also - I saw the play tonight, it was pretty cool. Incredible set, and it was fun to see a bunch of actors running around the theater wimpering and stuff before hand. (Can you tell i like to lord it over other people?) If you get a chance tomorrow, check it out. And if you like DMB and don't have their Live at Red Rocks CD, you should go buy it - definatly worth the money. Night everyone!

I did jack crap today. Sat around the house the whole day. I did do some updating on the page though, got some new car stuff up. For those of you who have really fast connections - check out the fast and the furious trailer ( It's gonna be a mega cool movie, i think, but it's too bad they had to push the date back. Anyway... got my class ring today, it's way cool (you can see the pics of it). It was mega expensive - but that's my parents duty, luckily. Take the car survey on my main page - it took me awhile to figure it out and i'd like to see some response to it. Watched half the matrix while downloading media player 7 - i think now is the time to go watch the other half. If you haven't yet, sign my guestbook! my hits keep going up, but no one ever signs it! Night all...

PSAE today. For those of you who don't know - it's a crappy, boring, stupid proficency test that's 4 hours long and only needs to be about 2. Anyway - after piano lessons (which sucked, i haven't practiced all week) I worked on my page. Got some new pages up (funny words and funny movie quotes) and got my caddy page up too. Also, due to requests, i replaced my splash image (you can get to the old one by clicking on it) and added more monkeys to my page. Tomorrow i plan on following Eileen's suggestion (see my guestbook). Cole wrote a trippy story, check that out too. Anyway, i'm being boring and just listing what you can see easily for yourself under the new stuff link. Oh - one more thing. I'm changing the color scheme for all my pages (as you can see). Let me know what you think of it! Stay cool - i'm outta here.

4-25-01 (p2)
Hey everybody. I'm in a sour mood again - don't know why. The cadillac page didn't get put up today - mom took it to work with her, so i couldn't clamber around in it. Can't do it tomorrow either - she's taking it to park when she leaves for gatlinburg. Maybe friday or something i'll do it, or maybe i'll do it for the van tomorrow - i drive it often enough. I'm dreading the test session for tomorrow - 5.5 HOURS of testing. Is that ridiculous or what? Do they think we're machines? I know that i'm gonna be passed out by the end of tomorrow. I'll be GRATEFUL to go back to school. Anyway...
I suppose i should start thinking about colleges. It seems like i'm too young to do that, but since i'm 17, i suppose i'm not really. people always tell me i'm mature for may age - if that's true, why do i just want to keep living at home and playing computer til 2 in the morning? Do you get to do that in college too? I don't even know where i'm gonna be able to go for another couple months - my class rank will keep me OUT of anyplace i want to go unless my test scores are high enough to counteract it. I'm hardly in the top 20% of my class, and something tells me that won't go very far in trying to get into a high quality engineering school (i.e. UIUC). It's too bad i couldn't have Katie Schmidt or Jim Hlubocky take my ACT for me - they got 35 and 34 respectively. for those of you who never took the ACT or don't remember how good that is - a pefect is 36, a 35 means you missed about 1-2 questions per section. Despite my restraint when informed of this score, there are times i just want to take katie schmidt's brain for myself (just kidding!). Talked to the Rebecca for awhile - she claimed i was smart about relationships. While i can't say i neccesarily disagree with her, i do find that i am rather afflicted with Nice Guy Syndrome (NGS). For those of you who don't know what this is, it is experienced by many "overly mature" guys. Basically, although they are well known for being nice, they are stuck with no group, or no relationships. But hey, what can ya do? anyway - my head hurts, i'm gonna wander away now.

And it begins. 2 days of testing, 10 hours of filling in bubbles to indicate our preferences on everything from the perimeter of squares to whether we like, dislike, or are indifferent to breaking up fights between our parents. Luckily, from what i've heard it's not NECCESARILY going to go on our transcripts, so when i get a 20 on it, it won't matter. I hope that's right. I'm dressed in my comfiest clothes (PE leaders hoodie and my soft cargo pants). When i get home, i plan on making a web page devoted to my car (an 87 cadillac Seville). It may be old, but it's a beaut. Only 61k miles on it, and the thing purrs. Been browsing peoples pages the past few days trying to drum up hits - maybe i'll get some return traffic. If you do stop through, check out the rest of the page - the new stuff should be updated daily for a while (at least until i get a new fad). Make sure to check out the yearbook page - a tribute to yearbook workers everywhere. As always - if you've got an interesting comment, interesting idea, or other tidbit that you might like to send me, my email is on enough places in this site that you should be able to email me. I check it every 5 minutes when i'm online - so i should get your message pretty quick. If you have AIM or AOL, you can IM me at chrisrs84. I'm running out of ideas, so gimmie some! Everyone out there seems to get more hits than i do. Anyway - I gotta go find some #2 pencils, otherwise who KNOWS what they'll do to me. Sign the guestbook if you stop by - I'm getting more and more people to do that as they come through. Looking back - i didn't say anything today, but maybe i'll add more later. Ciao!

"Hard work may pay off in the long run, but laziness pays off right now"
10 days til prom... I'm not going. It's nice not having to worry about the hundreds of dollars that i'm not spending, but still - it would be nice to have some kind of plan. anyway though... APUSH isn't gonna be as bad as i thought - calc is horrible though. I get the feeling that I'm gonna not do as well as i had hoped on it. ACT tomorrow (damn PSAE), but at least there's no school for 2 days. For those of you who don't know - the PSAE is an Illinois state test that they're making us take. It's going to be very similar to the IGAP, or ISAT, or any of those tests. Only difference? this one includes the ACT, which 90% of juniors have already taken. So, it's getting a bit of resentment among the ranks. I'm still looking for stuff to add to my page, and if you haven't seen it yet, and you don't know me, you can check out my most recent photo (today). It's not candid, but at least it's something newer than the damn HC picture. Also - the internet shortcuts link should be up on my page by the time you read this - i got tired of people always asking me what AFK, IAW, etc. meant. Hopefully, i can refer them to that short list and they'll figure it out. I'm outta here.

11 days til prom... Still dateless. On a more positive note, i don't feel like crap anymore. I have a runny nose, but i can live with that. I had long talks about life in general with a couple of good friends last night. Found out some stuff about me, and about what others think of me. Didn't sleep much last night, too much napping during the day. Which meant i was totally hyper during the day today, as most people can vouch for. I was asked 2 times if i had been smokin a little weed... Course, i havne't been, cause i'm as clean and sober as, well, me! Interesting class of spanish today - Skup was putting quite a bit of feeling into her reading of "Nosotros Somos Dios". It poured, and I played out in the rain while waiting for the bus. Also, copied the APUSH notes, so if you're reading this and don't have a copy, let me know. Anyway - i need to get the oil changed on the Cadillac, so I gotta get out of here before my mom comes home and screams. Remember - music is the expression of life, the universe and everything. And the answer to that expression is 42.

Good morning, happy campers. I don't know if anyone is gonna read this, but i'm still gonna try and update it fairly often. Anyway... I'm not feeling as crappy as i did yesterday, which is a good thing. The weather is really crappy today though - rainy and cold. And apprarently it's only going to get worse as the week goes on. I spent most of yesterday working on getting some new stuff for my web page, as well as finishing up the notes for history. If anyone who i know is in AP US History and wants the notes from this week - let me know. As always, i'm on AIM as ChrisRS84 - and my email is Anyway, i'm outta things to say for right now. And if you can think of something that would make any part of this web page more interesting - let me know. I'm totally outta ideas.

"Today is the first day of the rest of the week - or is it?" - the Pointy-haired-boss
Prom is only 13 days away - for all those of you who are going. I'm not going, but I'm over that. I've just got to create my own prom nite that will blow the real one away. What are the chances of that succeeding? I don't have a clue, but by all the stars in heaven, I'm gonna try. I will still accept being asked though - so if you're still dateless, let me know. I recently gave up playing the online game i was addicted to for 5 months, so i will most likely not be online as often anymore. I stopped doing that for two reasons. One was the fact that i was playing an average of 25 hours a week. The second is that all the people there had grown to hate me (not unlike real life, IMHO). Anyway - my site needed a jumpstart, so i figured i'd give this a try. I'll update this as often as i feel like it. Check it out often, at least for a while. Right now - i think i'm gonna get my bike down and ride around for a while.