The story of this evening..... A view into the future to prom night, and why Chris shouldn’t go, PART 1.

This tale of Chris going to the prom started innocently enough. Who is his date? Erin Murphy, that’s who. She was free to go to the prom after she was dumped by Cole her for some more interesting activities, namely committing suicide by hanging himself with a note taped to his chest reading: "NO FUNERAL." That however is a pleasant story for another day.

So Chris was bumming around the south side of town playing the hacky sack, hackin’ it up, boyeah, and so Erin comes walking down the street, as she typically does in the south side hackey sack district late at night. Erin passed Chris and muttered something under her breath. "You talking to me?" Chris asked.

She returned, "Oh hi Chris, I didn’t see you there...Rod Stewart"

"What was that that you muttered?" Chris asked.

"Nothing, I didn’t say anything at all or anything Rod Stewart" Erin said nervously.

"You just said Rod Stewart, didn’t you?" Chris accused, still hacking like a pro.

"No, I didn’t say Rod Stewart, its not like I keep muttering his name under my breath over and over again driving me to insanity all because I have some kind of secret disgusting fetish for him. No of course not. Rod Stewart"

"Uhhhhhh, alright," Chris backed off, "So, I noticed you don’t have a prom date."

"If you think I’m sexy, and you want my body....oh, yeah, no I don’t have a date. Thank god Cole killed himself to get out of prom, cause if he didn’t I would have Rod Stewart."

Chris was thinking to himself, ‘oh yes this girl is dating material’ But then he thought, wait am I being sarcastic? He couldn’t tell anymore. He thought back to his early days of sarcasm, how he was so innocent and fresh. Then he read Catcher in the Rye and it nearly killed him, seeing as how the old dusty pages spontaneously lit on fire and burned his house down, killing half of his family. So, the moral of the story is that books can kill so don’t read them. Or is the moral that Rod Stewart induces strange fetishes in young teenaged girls? Wait, neither of those are the morals, the stories not done yet.

Anyway, Chris was pondering his chances at asking Erin to the big prom dance. At the very least he figured that Erin owed him a date since she had failed to come through on getting him one earlier [AHEM ERIN]. So he decided to gather up all of his courage and ask her.

"Erin would you go to the prom with me?" he wanted to ask, but in reality blurted out, "Kangaroo empty bossom prom me <gasp> canker Erin you?"

Sobbing she answered," Je voudrais un stewart de rod, Rod Stewart"

Chris took that as a sign to move on in his prom search, maybe he would find a nice Christian girl, or a girl with nice Jewlery...........

TO BE CONTINUED BUT NOT NESSISARILY ON THE SAME SUBJECT



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Other stories - the current one and the theory of evolution

This weird and twisted first part of the series is brought to you by cole. The views expressed herein are those of the author of the story, not of the page. Besides, it's supposed to be funny!