The story of this evening... Itís About Tamn Dime PART 1

In our society we have a system of payment and receivment and such which is manifested through the function of a dollar. For countless years men have been stealing other peoples dollars, or even counterfeiting their own dollars. This is a grand idea. If I was English I would say "This is ah Grahhhnd idee-er," and if I were french I would say "Je veux un hamburger avec beacoup fromage." Anyway, money is a concept that has drove men since prehistory. Money is a concept that has lasted longer than time and for all eternity. Money is a concept which is much more powerful than the concept of God. God is the bitch of money. There is one means of gaining money which is perfectly legal, but which has never been tried, and can never be tried again. The information you are about to learn is quite shocking, please prepare yourself accordingly.

In the years between 1910 and 1946 there was a popular piece of coinage referred to as a dime, maybe youíve heard of it. During this time period dimes were partially made out of silver. There came a point during these years when the price of the silver inside a dime was worth more than 10 cents, and no, this was before the internet, so thatís not to blame. The potential to get rich was there man, it was THERE! All you would need to do is get 10 dollars worth of dimes, melt them down and take the silver and sell it. You could probably make fifty cents profit from it. Then with the $10.50 you got go to the bank and get even MORE dimes and melt them down and sell them. GENIOUS! Pretty soon you would have enough money to get a wheel-barrow so you could haul your dimes in there so that you would get less tired hauling your dimes from the bank to the melting chamber, wherever that may be. Then once you have enough money you can buy some coal to make the fire to melt the dimes instead of wood. The coal will make the fire burn hotter, in turn melting the dimes faster and getting you MORE money faster! On a side note I would like to discuss my viewpoint on the word "coal." I am very aware that the word "coal" rhymes with my name "Cole." Years and years through grade school I would hear kids giggle and remark how my name sounds like coal. They would say mean things like "Hey Cole, is your first name CHAR?" and "Hey Cole, do you get coal in your stocking for Christmas?" and "Hey Cole, do you like getting thrown in the fire?" and of course "Hey Cole, do you like being shipped as cargo in a freight train?" SCREW ALL YOU GUYS!!! I like my name. And I hope no one is surprised when they tell me another stupid joke about my name and then they get to eat their own teeth. Cole is not a black combustible piece of fossil fuel, and coal is not a sexy, sexy man.

Anyway, after you buy some Cole, I mean coal, to light your fire, you could get your own silver mill and burn the silver yourself. And after you did that it would be essential to buy a few nerf guns to blow off some steam from working in the dime industry all day. If my theories based on my limited knowledge of inflation are correct, then an increase in silver sales back to the supplier would thereby increase supply and obviously make silver even more valuable!!!

Iíll never get a chance to act on my dreams though because Iíd probably take all my money and buy a bunch Alf episodes on tape, and then on DVD, and then on computer chip and then... wait, tech companies are screwing us all over, why would I need all the episodes of Alf on three different formats? Why would I need all the episodes of Alf at all? A mystery and conspiracy at once, Rat Farts!

Other stories by Coal, i mean COLE: The prom date and the theory of evolution