The story of this evening..... A view into the future to prom night, and why Chris shouldnít go, PART 1.

This tale of Chris going to the prom started innocently enough. Who is his date? Erin Murphy, thatís who. She was free to go to the prom after she was dumped by Cole her for some more interesting activities, namely committing suicide by hanging himself with a note taped to his chest reading: "NO FUNERAL." That however is a pleasant story for another day.

So Chris was bumming around the south side of town playing the hacky sack, hackiní it up, boyeah, and so Erin comes walking down the street, as she typically does in the south side hackey sack district late at night. Erin passed Chris and muttered something under her breath. "You talking to me?" Chris asked.

She returned, "Oh hi Chris, I didnít see you there...Rod Stewart"

"What was that that you muttered?" Chris asked.

"Nothing, I didnít say anything at all or anything Rod Stewart" Erin said nervously.

"You just said Rod Stewart, didnít you?" Chris accused, still hacking like a pro.

"No, I didnít say Rod Stewart, its not like I keep muttering his name under my breath over and over again driving me to insanity all because I have some kind of secret disgusting fetish for him. No of course not. Rod Stewart"

"Uhhhhhh, alright," Chris backed off, "So, I noticed you donít have a prom date."

"If you think Iím sexy, and you want my body....oh, yeah, no I donít have a date. Thank god Cole killed himself to get out of prom, cause if he didnít I would have Rod Stewart."

Chris was thinking to himself, Ďoh yes this girl is dating materialí But then he thought, wait am I being sarcastic? He couldnít tell anymore. He thought back to his early days of sarcasm, how he was so innocent and fresh. Then he read Catcher in the Rye and it nearly killed him, seeing as how the old dusty pages spontaneously lit on fire and burned his house down, killing half of his family. So, the moral of the story is that books can kill so donít read them. Or is the moral that Rod Stewart induces strange fetishes in young teenaged girls? Wait, neither of those are the morals, the stories not done yet.

Anyway, Chris was pondering his chances at asking Erin to the big prom dance. At the very least he figured that Erin owed him a date since she had failed to come through on getting him one earlier [AHEM ERIN]. So he decided to gather up all of his courage and ask her.

"Erin would you go to the prom with me?" he wanted to ask, but in reality blurted out, "Kangaroo empty bossom prom me <gasp> canker Erin you?"

Sobbing she answered," Je voudrais un stewart de rod, Rod Stewart"

Chris took that as a sign to move on in his prom search, maybe he would find a nice Christian girl, or a girl with nice Jewlery...........


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Other stories - the current one and the theory of evolution

This weird and twisted first part of the series is brought to you by cole lohman. The views expressed herein are those of the author of the story, not of the page. Besides, it's supposed to be funny!